Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Losing My Religion

Solomon said it best in Ecclesiastes 1:18, “For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.”

Toby Keith, (The country singer) said it this way; “I wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then.”

I long for the days when religion was simple. I still remember the comfort of having a simple childlike trusting faith that accepted without question and believed without logic. Life was so much easier when I truly believed that my church was the only church.

But, somewhere along the way I asked too many questions. I took passages like Acts 17:11 too literally. In my searching I accidentally discovered that some of the things I had been taught over the years were not necessarily correct – others were absolutely incorrect. That is really not an earth shattering discovery for most folks. Most folks would just learn from their misconceptions, adjust their course, and move on. But consider this; I was taught to believe that my church was the one and only “true church” by virtue of the fact we were the only ones left on earth who believed, understood, taught, and practiced everything correctly according to God’s will.. Other religious denominations did not qualify for true church-hood because they were not as correct as we were. So, in my mind incorrectness, however so slight, meant a fall from grace.

At first these questions were just a small chink in the armor of my religion.
I learned quickly that some questions were deemed inappropriate and out-of-bounds. Such questions simply had no place in a serious Bible class. To question was to sow discord. To disagree was to disrespect. So I kept quiet. I kept my questions to myself.

It’s a long boring story, so I will spare you the details. But, over time the religion of my youth grew less and less magical. Its importance slowly began to fade. What had once seemed so vital and so invincible now seemed somehow shallow and orchestrated.

The good news is that while I was busy doubting and losing my religion, God was busy working in the real world of my everyday life in undeniable ways. As my religion faded my faith grew. God has never been more real to me. I am still in awe. When it comes to God, I still enjoy the comfort of having a simple childlike trusting faith that accepts without question and believes without logic. He taught me that I don’t have to understand and I don’t have to know all of the answers. He just wants me to be still and know that he is God.

Am I saying then that religion is not important? Yes, I guess I am. Especially if your religion (like mine was) is the sole focus of your faith.