Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Losing My Religion

Solomon said it best in Ecclesiastes 1:18, “For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.”

Toby Keith, (The country singer) said it this way; “I wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then.”

I long for the days when religion was simple. I still remember the comfort of having a simple childlike trusting faith that accepted without question and believed without logic. Life was so much easier when I truly believed that my church was the only church.

But, somewhere along the way I asked too many questions. I took passages like Acts 17:11 too literally. In my searching I accidentally discovered that some of the things I had been taught over the years were not necessarily correct – others were absolutely incorrect. That is really not an earth shattering discovery for most folks. Most folks would just learn from their misconceptions, adjust their course, and move on. But consider this; I was taught to believe that my church was the one and only “true church” by virtue of the fact we were the only ones left on earth who believed, understood, taught, and practiced everything correctly according to God’s will.. Other religious denominations did not qualify for true church-hood because they were not as correct as we were. So, in my mind incorrectness, however so slight, meant a fall from grace.

At first these questions were just a small chink in the armor of my religion.
I learned quickly that some questions were deemed inappropriate and out-of-bounds. Such questions simply had no place in a serious Bible class. To question was to sow discord. To disagree was to disrespect. So I kept quiet. I kept my questions to myself.

It’s a long boring story, so I will spare you the details. But, over time the religion of my youth grew less and less magical. Its importance slowly began to fade. What had once seemed so vital and so invincible now seemed somehow shallow and orchestrated.

The good news is that while I was busy doubting and losing my religion, God was busy working in the real world of my everyday life in undeniable ways. As my religion faded my faith grew. God has never been more real to me. I am still in awe. When it comes to God, I still enjoy the comfort of having a simple childlike trusting faith that accepts without question and believes without logic. He taught me that I don’t have to understand and I don’t have to know all of the answers. He just wants me to be still and know that he is God.

Am I saying then that religion is not important? Yes, I guess I am. Especially if your religion (like mine was) is the sole focus of your faith.

8 comments:

Russ said...
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Russ said...

Good thoughts. Trusting in church doctrine rather than God is a shaky foundation. What happens when people shoot holes in our doctrine or point out our glaring inconsistencies? Most people walk away. Question for you...is the church of today any different from the church of your youth? Do you feel like we're still pushing doctrine rather than faith?

Russ said...
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garyneat said...

Russ,
WOW, what a question! I'm not smart enough to answer that one in one sitting so I might have to take several stabs at it.

My short answer is; I sure hope not!

Think of it like this:

Faith is the "Why", and religion is the "How". The "How" is not unimportant, it is just useless with out the "Why".

I know that we are somewhat forsed by our circumstances to teach the "How" but we try our best not to teach it as law.

Anonymous said...

Gary,
I ran across a statement from Patrick Henry that said, "I have now disposed of all my property to my family. There is one more thing more I wish I could give them and that is faith in Jesus Christ. If they had that, and I had not given them one shilling, they would have been rich; and if they had not that, and I had given them all the world, they would be poor indeed."
Church (even the one you grew up in) will never find every answer solved, every problem, or heal every wound. But, when we realize that faith is our path then we know real hope.
I think your struggles have shown your children a pathway of faith. And they in turn will find their own way and instill faith in their children.
The fires of spiritual awakening are deeply felt by those who have experienced it. I see those fires in your life and admire them. You are blessed by your background and your move in faith forward. You are blessed in that you can feel! You are not blinded by rules, pressured by a place where everybody else is trying to define you. Not perfection, but progress. Faith is our challenge, strenth, and assurance of things hoped for, and the conviction of things unseen.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I look forward to your blog. I think you are richly blessing your own family and those who know you.
Connie

Anonymous said...

Gary,
God bless you and your journey. Brother, just know that you are not alone. There are so many of us who grew up the same as you and are now experiencing a "rebirth" through our faith. We are evolving and our CofC faith is evolving with us!

Anonymous said...

Gary,

This is another instance of where we trusted but had to learn on our own. Isn't it wonderful to be able to read and determine what you believe for yourself? We now know that we can't be perfect but it is ok. I love you guys!

Peg

Buttercups said...

Gary,
Thank you for sharing your story. I am sort of trying to come into my own as well. I am going through some growing pains and having trouble with some of my family not accepting this. It is very painful, although not as painful as I know your journey has been. Thank you, again, for sharing your journey.
Allison