Onsite (part three)

My head was spinning. I remember feeling sick.

At this point no one knew about my drug use. The word addiction had never even been suggested. My family did not know. My coworkers did not know. My Doctor, my Counselor, and my Psychiatrist did not know. I was still in denial, so in reality, I didn’t even know. How could this place have known?

Rusty tried to convince me that his story was true. He tried to assured me that he was not a spy – that he was not an undercover counselor working for Onsite. He said that he was there for his own problems. He swore that he didn’t have a clue who or what I was.

I still wasn’t totally convinced, but by now, I really had no choice. I spilled my guts. I told Rusty and Ralph my story - the whole story. They were both shocked. Not so much by my story, but by the fact that Rusty and I had just happened to come to Onsite the same week, and just happened to have been placed in the same room. What a coincidence!

Our amazement however was short lived. Rusty was, all of the sudden, very concerned.
“If even half of what you are telling me is true,” said Rusty, “Then you are in real trouble”.

“Yeah, thanks Sherlock” I said sarcastically, “I sort of figured that out”. I was thinking of the Nursing Board, my job, my wife, my family, my church and my reputation. Rusty was thinking about my health.

He wanted to know details like how much I had used, and how often I had used it. He wanted to know exactly when the last time had been. The significance of this line of questioning was at the moment lost on me, but I was, for some unknown reason, finally beginning to trust this guy – so I told him the truth.

He told me that I really didn’t need to be at Onsite. He tried to tell me how serious and painful drug withdrawals were. He said something about my needing a Detox center. He tried to tell me that I needed to be under a Doctor’s care. But in typical “Gary” fashion, I told him that I was fine. I assured him that I was not really addicted and that I could handle it.

He sadly and knowingly shook his head. “Yeah, you can probably handle it” he said, “but it is not going to be pretty.” Little did I know just how right this guy would turn out to be…