I have a huge test on Tuesday. I really need to be studying. I have already paid over $500.00 just to take the test. Passing this test is really important to my nursing career. But... my heart and my brain are just not in tune….. I’m having trouble right now concentrating on the finer points of hemodynamics.
It happened to me last year as well - It lasted about a month. After returning from the medical mission trip to Belize I seem to always find myself in a funk - overwhelmed with guilt, despair, confusion and depression. Most of it, I’m sure, can be attributed to exhaustion. But, the thought of children living without food, shelter or even clean drinking water tends to bother me. The stories Jesus told about the “Rich Man and Lazarus” (Luke 16), The “Rich young Ruler” (Luke 18), and the “Rich Man and his Barns” (Luke 12) are keeping me awake at night.
On the long flight home we stood in line at the airport with a famous baseball player. I noticed that just his watch, bracelet and earrings were probably worth more than my entire house. Is this the “Rich people" that Jesus was talking about?
When we visited the village where the children with no floor lived
(see Russ’ Blog)
I realized that I had more money stuffed down in my pockets at that moment than their entire family would see in a year, maybe two. Am I the "Rich Man" Jesus is talking about?
Let me ask you a question. It has been on my mind ever since I got home from Belize.
Please comment and help me sort this out…
Is it selfish, uncaring and sinful to buy my children nice things like cell phones, new cars and Nintendo game when there are children less than eight hours away from me (26 hours if you fly American Airlines) who are going to bed hungry every night?
My heart knows but my head says are you sure??
9 years ago
5 comments:
Gary,
You are not selfish or uncaring. You have a huge heart and you are using that heart to feel and understand. You feel guilty for your belongings, I feel guilty because you did something and I did not. Without a conscious, we wouldn't worry about our status on earth or others status that is less fortunate. God wanted you to make a difference and you have to know that you did. I admire you and Lynetta for the many things you do for others. You never beat your chest and it comes very natural and from your hearts. You have done so much for so many starting with your own adoptive children. Now you pray for those children and you realize that you have been richly blessed because of your experiences in Belieze. But most of all those kids were RICHLY blessed by your presence and your heart. I know that God is richly blessed by having you and Lynetta as his children.
I love you and I am proud to have you both as my brother and sister in Christ.
Peggy
Gary,
Please refrain from asking such questions in the future. You're upsetting my comfortable theology of Christianity. Can't we just discuss worship styles or something?
Gary, I would recommend you "Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger" by Sadol.
DP
I ask myself the same questions when I have returned from such trips. I think it takes people such as yourself and others to go and return with the questions. We as Christians do have a responsibilty and with time hopfully we will all be able to answer some of the questions. Your team has returned with questions concerning poverty, our brothers, and hope. Continue to go and serve!!!!!! Teach your children to go and serve!!!!! And return to tell others so they can go and serve!!!! I cannot get the picture of the little girl (Russ's blog) out of my mind. And maybe that is where God wants it....IN MY MIND AND ON MY HEART. This will bring myself and others back to her one day.
Connie
Clearly I'm not an expert, however I have struggled with some of the same thoughts. Here's what I've concluded for ME:
1. Am I continually seeking God's desires for my life? If I am, and He is telling me to sell all my stuff and I don't comply then I have an obedience issue not a stuff issue.
2. What am I CURRENTLY doing to better others? Am I tithing regularly? Am I giving what God has called me to give? What am I offering of myself to the people I contact daily and are these people seeing Christ in me?
3. Scripture rules. Literally, if scripture commands me to give, then I must give. If I feel God leading me to scripture that continues to point at a common theme, then I must look at what He is trying to tell me. Refer back to #1.
I don't know you (like you didn't know that) but I feel pretty sure from reading your comments and a portion of your blog that you are a faithful man. We all have things, people, relationships and materials that we enjoy that some people in this world will do without. If you haven't already, I would STRONGLY suggest you do the "Experiencing God" study by Henry Blackaby. It's a favorite of mine and I'm on my 3rd go-round.
Blessings to you & sorry for the lengthy comment...it's Henry Blackaby's fault.
--just as a sidenote..I'm still trying to master the 3 things listed above. When I reach perfection I'll be sure to let you know. ;)--
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